Football Explained

Posted On November 7, 2009

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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.  They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

‘Oh, I really liked it,’ she replied, ‘especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.’

Dumbfounded, her date asked, ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents.”2009-09 Football

I understand football better than this, though not all the moms did.  At the beginning of the season one commented that she didn’t know what any of the positions meant.  I explained to her that the quarterbacks were the cute ones.  She felt more secure in her knowledge of the game after that.

I admit to having an incredibly hard time finding my boys on the field.  I considered dressing them in fushia pants or dying their hair lime green but I wasn’t sure how they or their handsome coach would feel about that.

2009-09 Football1

Despite my social inadequacies (which were never more prevalent than during football season), we had a fantastic season.

  • Prince made a touchdown (ask him and he’ll regale you with details)
  • Tackler got to tackle (you can make rules but you can’t actually stop little boys from tackling)
  • I discovered it is my brother’s fault I don’t have friends at football (turns out they all have a sister in law for a sideline buddy)
  • I was the queen of the sidelines with my little cheerleader (the soccer parents were only mildly impressed but the football parents know how to appreciate a cheerleading outfit on a one year old).
  • And of course, we had a handsome coach (as he is now officially known at the library).

Stay tuned and I’ll tell you about our other fall sport with two handsome coaches.

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3 Responses to “Football Explained”

  1. Karen

    My kids are going to laugh so hard when I tell them that football joke! I wanted to thank you for the nice comments you left on my blog. I am so glad that it’s helping you – I’ve definitely had an attitude change the last several weeks and I’m also glad my house nicer as a side effect! I love your blog – I looked through it the first time you commented and I thought we had lots in common. I like your great books list – where did you get it from? North and South is one of my favorite books, by the way. Did you know there’s a movie from it? I’m trying to get my husband to watch it with me. It’s a BBC one I think.

  2. Sally

    Cute cheerleader – I love her outfit!

  3. lazyorganizer

    Adorable! Why does Pretty Girl get enough hair for pigtails?? None of my girls inherited my thick hair. I guess I need to keep trying.

    I don’t have a clue about football either. It’s a good thing I married man that doesn’t watch it and won’t let his son play it.