The Great Fink

Posted On January 6, 2010

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Almost two months ago I left my family and took a little trip to a nearby resort (read here).  I got high on drugs, slept most of the time and enjoyed room service and breakfast (and lunch and dinner) in bed every day.  Since I was having SO much fun (read here), Warrior decided to retaliate in two horrific ways.  The fallout has been so devastating, it has taken me two months to blog it and even now I wince.

#1: He stole my baby

There are two famous sayings about love.  In a battle between Distance makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight; out of mind, I can attest that the former holds more water.  Do you know what happens when a 24 month old is subjected to her father for both mothering and fathering for 4 straight days?  She falls madly in love with her father and her mother turns into squashed peas.

I am now good for one thing.  Pretty girl prefers dad for all else.  And he relishes his position as favorite.  I get two years per kid.  And then I lose them.  Is it any wonder I want a few dozen?

As tragic as this has been (and believe me, it’s been heart wrenching), his greater crime is ….

#2: He stole my family’s dignity

Our lives our dedicated to sports (yeah yeah and of course the gospel but that’s a given).  I am a lifelong Dodgers Fan and Warrior is a lifelong Mets fan.  The brainwashing has been heavier on the Mets side but we were all able to get along and enjoy each others fanaticism.

However, since the twins were 9 months old and attended their first MLB game, we have had a tradition.  Whichever team we see play becomes our new “favorite”.  For about 4 years we endured having the Pittsburg Pirates as our Numero Uno.  This worked because they were #1.  (You sports fans didn’t know that did you?  Well, it’s true.  They held the record.  Ok, so it was the record for most losses, but we didn’t let that stop us).

We were saved a couple years ago when we managed to sneak in a Mets game.  We joked that we should refrain from attending any more games but the bigger agreement was that we could never watch the Yankees since we all despised them.  (You know where this is going don’t you?)

This fall Warrior was offered tickets (and comraderie) to a Yankees game in the famed Yankee stadium.  (The NEW stadium which was bigger.  Oooh la la.  Whoop de doo.)  I forbade.  Warrior ignored me.  So what choice did I have?  I agreed on ONE condition (to which he agreed) – since we were not attending as a FAMILY, the family rule did not apply.

Guess what?  The big fat FINK came home a die hard Stinkees fan.  And THEN (as if that wasn’t crime enough), while I was locked up in prison (er, I mean enjoying my resort vacation), he converted my cherubs.  Since I couldn’t have visitors he brought me pictures.  Of my kids in Yankee shirts.  Is that not just WRONG?  What’s a woman to do when she has such a rotten husband?  Cry, I tell ya.  All I can do is cry.  At least I still have Little Man.  He still loves me.  For 22.25 more months.


6 Responses to “The Great Fink”

  1. Karen

    This is hilarious! It sounds like the childbirth experience was pretty traumatic this time around!

  2. Sally

    I am sorry. It is hard to loose your kids to your husband – I know.
    I do think it’s occasionally nice (like during the middle of the night when something goes wrong) that they call for Dad!

  3. lazyorganizer

    I didn’t understand a word of the second part but I’m sorry about the first part. Next time you go on vacation invite me please.

  4. Vee

    So last night we were watching a Cowboys/Eagles game and I yelled for the Cowboys. Mike turned to me and told me he was cheering for the Eagles. When asked why he replied that he was cheering for the Eagles because Pat cheers for the Cowboys! He was being completely sarcastic, but I thought it was funny since I had just read this post and told him that Pat was a Yankees fan. He couldn’t believe it. He was wondering where Pat’s devotion to the Mets went.
    I’m glad you get two years. I get about one before my girls become complete Daddy’s girls and have nothing to do with me. I guess that’s what we get when we married some pretty neat guys.
    Enjoy it, while you’ve got it!

    Barefoot says: Well see now. Where did that get him since the Eagles LOST!!! Go Cowboys!!! Little Man is wearing a Cowboys outfit today to honor the greatest football team.

    • barefootquilter

      Well see now. Where did that get him since the Eagles LOST!!! Go Cowboys!!! Little Man is wearing a Cowboys outfit today to honor the greatest football team.

  5. Sarah

    There is only one thing to say… Ouch